Silent Wounds
by Dawnatella
Summary: -novelette:-COMPLETED--(Co-written with Ramica)Donatello has been through some ruff spots in his life. However nothing has prepared him for a difficult marriage.
1. Prologue Lonely Nights, Morning Sun

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Silent Wounds

Prologue – Lonely Nights, Morning Sun

"No one in this world needs me...no one ever will."--Erik Susan Kay's (**_Phantom_**)

*~*

"I'm sorry Don but I don't want her."

Don stared in shock at the female before him. If a member of the Foot Clan had entered their home and suddenly ran him through with a sword it wouldn't, couldn't have hurt as much as those cold hollow words coming from his wife's mouth.

Well, almost ex-wife now.

Don and his wife Tamara had been separated for about six months now they had done their best to work things out with each other but it just wasn't possible.

There was just too many differences, and their destinies seemed to lie on separate paths now.

It was probably to be expected after all considering their marriage had not been one of love but rather convince.

Don often wondered why he had married Tammie, his pet name for his wife, he supposed it was due to the fact that at the time they had both been lonely and wanted someone.

Weather that person turned out to be good for them or not.

While he sort of been expecting this, he had also in some ways been dreading their final break up because he could not deny that he cared for Tammie. Yet he also knew somewhere in the deep regions of his being that he seemed to bring out the worst in her, unintentionally of course.

Then again maybe Tammie was just bent on a destructive path determined to ruin everything she came in contact with.

Still for the sake of their daughter he didn't know if he could just let her go.

"She is your child too. Don't you feel..." he started a feeble protest.

"No! I don't want to feel for her. I don't want anything to do with you, your family or her **AGAIN**. I never wanted to give birth to **IT** in the first place" Tammie hissed her eyes narrowing and her ears flattening against her head and her nose wrinkled with disgust as her fur bristled at the very idea.

Her long tail slashed about in angry irritation and Don knew it was better to back down now.

He winced at her harsh words but he well knew his wife's tendencies to wound in any way she could.

He watched in silence, knowing words could never hold her, as she stormed out of the lair once and for all.

He knew in his heart he wouldn't be seeing her again that part of his life was obviously over and done with and as final as the slamming door.

Still he couldn't help but feel that there had to be something he could have done to change the outcome somehow, there had to have been a way to do it if not for himself at least for their daughter. 

Don lowered his head into his hands at the futility of it all.

*~*

__

Lonely nights, I dream your there

Morning sun and you're gone

(Lonely nights, morning sun)

"**Do Anything You Say**" David Bowie


	2. Chapter I Be My Wife

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Chapter I - Be My Wife

  
  
"I am like everyone else! Inside I am just like everyone else! Why can't people just see that?"--Erik Susan Kay's (**Phantom**)   
*~*  
**Past**  
  
The dark cloudy night above was illuminated by the glow of lights from the windows of the many skyscrapers.  
He was patrolling the streets his shift was just about over and he was anxious to return to his lab and get to the many projects he had underway at the moment.  
His ninja senses alert he dropped silently down into a back alley and nearly jumped out of his shell when he heard something crashing around in the clutter and debris in the darkness of the alley.  
" Probably just a stray cat" he muttered to himself. Still out of curiosity he went to inspect the noise.  
He was totally shocked and unprepared to find what he did a mutant rat with blond rumpled, slightly grease marked fur, a small white patch under each eye. She was smaller then Splinter and there was something about her that made him believe she was feminine.  
Don wasn't afraid of her even though she crouched slightly and curled her lips baring her teeth.  
" Calm down now. I'm not going hurt you. You are a mutant like myself, only I am a mutant turtle but the person who raised me is a rat much like yourself."  
He noticed her body seemed to relax and he saw an ear twitch in his direction as he spoke to her in his soft tones.  
" Can you understand me? Can you talk?"  
" I can" she replied hesitantly.  
" Where did you come from?" Don wondered not used to seeing other mutants beyond his family members that is.  
She trembled slightly and let out a low almost hissing noise before answering him. She spoke slowly as if choosing her words or uncertain of what to say.  
She explained that she had been in a scientific research lab for her entire life and could not recall how she had come to be like this or how she had come to be different from an ordinary lab rat.  
The scientist performed many test on her and over time while in their captivity she had managed to pick up words and the basics of sentence structure from them. The scientist caught her speaking once and concluded that she was only mimicking them and arranged a large barrage of test and research on her to see how intelligent she was.  
After that she tried not to act like she had knowledge of what they were saying or doing.  
Somehow she learned they were going to kill and dissect her and she found a way to escape.  
" I'm not going back there" she concluded her story.  
Don had been impressed by the intelligence that she had shown and sympathetic towards her plight he gave her a tender smile in return " No one said you had to. If you have no place else to stay you can live with us for awhile. My name is Donatello but my brothers call me Don. Do you have a name that you call yourself, or would like to be called?"  
She wrinkled her nose slightly her whiskers twitching " Tamara" she replied cautiously her head cocked to one side.  
  
Tamara at first seemed a little uneasy and nervous around them, which was understandable.  
Don felt a great deal of compassion and empathy for her and all she had been put through so he did his best to make her feel at home and safe. Often putting aside his own tasks to help her.  
Once in a while Tamara would be a little churlish or abrupt in her manner and attitude but Don was willing to make excuses for her behavior.  
" She has had such a hard time of things it might take a while for her to realize we aren't going to hurt her."  
Tamara had often derided him for his interest in all things scientific and made many disparaging remarks and comments his way about it.  
Naturally he had overlooked that even in the early days.  
If he had the sort of start in life she had come from he probably wouldn't think very fondly of scientist himself.  
" I can't really blame her for that not after all she has been through" he explained to his brothers one day during practice shortly after she had made some snide remark about the subject.  
Leo shrugged " Long as you don't see any harm in it then there is nothing wrong."  
Raph arched an eye ridge from where he was " I don't know Donny she seems like bad news to me. I think the scientist may have scrambled a few of her circuits if you know what I mean."  
Don gave a negative shake of his head " Always the pessimist Raph. I think you are scared of her because you know we could have been in some Science lab or might end up that way", he challenged.  
Raph growled some response low in his throat before stalking off.  
  
...Reflecting now on those early days Don had to wonder when had it really begun? There was no one point he could look at and say that is where it started to go wrong.  
It had been so gradual but once it started there had been no stopping it or turning back. He readily admitted that he got used to making excuses for how she had behaved towards him. When she became truly violent later then apologized it seemed only natural to forgive her and accept her promise that it wouldn't happen again. That she was really sorry.  
How could he turn her away? She seemed so contrite at those times?  
No there was no one point that he could say it started then. In a way that troubled him...  
  
It hadn't been all that bad at first sure they had their disagreements but what couple didn't? It was natural for people to disagree with one another every now and again. 

That plus the fact that Don really didn't know a great deal about being in a relationship, he didn't know how they were supposed to work or what to expect of them and he didn't know many people who had been in relationships to ask them what they thought or knew. Even researching the subject couldn't help him a great deal. He knew enough to know that people being individuals would not agree with one another on every aspect in their life and he expected the arguments and disagreements as such. 

On the whole they got along all right though Tammie wasn't very forthcoming with what had happened to her in the lab but even that was understandable to a point. She wanted to forget it and Don didn't feel like forcing her to relieve what could only be very painful memories for her. 

There may have been some warning signs in those early days but they were all to easy to overlook and excuse in one way or another. 

For him the earliest sign of true trouble was shortly after their marriage had begun. 

It had started innocently enough over how much time he spent by himself working on projects and checking out things on the computer and that sort of thing. 

Suddenly in the middle of the argument Tammie's face twisted with rage and she whirled around pinning him to the wall, her long claws digging sharply into the skin on his arm. 

Don had been shocked by her sudden attack he became even more so when he realized that she was incredibly strong and powerful for someone of her size. 

Having been trained in ninjitsu for the better part of his life he should have been able to break her hold with ease but he found he couldn't and the more he tried the harder she held him her claws becoming uncomfortably painful with his struggles. He didn't have the room to maneuver to break the hold and his struggles to break loose only seemed to increase her fury at him. 

When she had finally released him he had small wounds in his arms where her nails had been digging in. 

" Don't mess with me Donatello remember you brought this on yourself. Don't even bother telling the others about it either." 

Don gazed in numb horror an uncomprehending look on his stunned face. Tell the others that little Tammie had been fully capable of holding him against his will? That he hadn't been able to break her hold on him? 

He could just see the teasing he would be letting himself in for if he let it become common knowledge. 

" Besides it is none of their business Don" she warned him before leaving him alone. 

Yes, it wasn't their business and he really didn't need to add insult to injury not to mention that he was rather embarrassed by the whole incident at hand. 

In afterthought Don often contemplated if the scientist had done something to Tammie to make her stronger and more powerful then she looked on the outside, he supposed such a thing was possible. 

That should have been all he needed to know to back out and get away then but he hadn't not then not later. 

Of course later she begged his forgiveness promising to never become so violent again. She was truly sorry for the pain she had caused him and felt bad about it. 

Don felt that Tammie was remorseful and regretted her actions besides they were married now and he felt that they could work things out and reach a reasonable compromise, so he accepted her apology. 

The second attack came a few weeks later once again it happened almost out of no where. This time Tammie used her long tail like a whip snapping it hard against his skin causing bruising and some welts and again she cautioned him to tell no one. 

That should have told him then, that things weren't going to get any better but Don was determined not to give up or cave in. He felt that Tammie was still having some problems with her past and might only be lashing out at him because she considered him a safe target. If he could ride it out he was sure she would settle down and they would be happy with one another. 

Humiliated and embarrassed Don was all too willing to stay silent and made up an excuse for the marks she had caused. 

As time passed and the attacks continued to occur Don could only do his best to hide his wounds he received from her. He grew uneasy with Tammie's quick Jekyl and Hyde switches that came over her so suddenly. He did his best to placate her in hopes of avoiding trouble. 

The thing was her attacks were so quick and brutal and so unexpected at the best of times that he never knew when or where she would attack then the rest of the time she would be the Tammie he had come to know quiet and gentle. 

He couldn't begin to fathom it. He didn't want to hurt Tammie and he couldn't comprehend why she would be after him. 

The strange attacks happened only at night in their own room away from the others, behind closed doors they were always followed by an apology either later that night or sometime in the morning at the very latest. Don listened to her apologies and her promises was willing to stay because he wanted things to work out between them and he wanted to believe what Tammie said about it not happening again. 

As more time passed she wasn't acting as contrite after the attacks which were growing to be more frequent with the passing of time. She berated him constantly about his intelligence and the way he acted often passing snide comments his way as if intent on hurting him any way she could. 

Don was starting to lose confidence in himself as well as starting to lose his focus on the many projects he used to do that had brought him such enjoyment. He was starting to wonder if he truly was to blame for what was happening as Tammie often insinuated. 

If he worked harder at it he was sure they could find a perfect balance. He knew they had gotten along well before and with some hard work and dedication he felt sure they could get things back on track. 

During her attacks Don did his best to defend himself but he refused to accelerate the violence by attacking her. In this way he lead himself to believe that he might be able to stop it if he wanted to but refused to sink to violence to do so. 

They could work it out in a perfectly adult manner and violence wasn't the answer to it. 

Of course in those early days there were still some good times when they got along quite well together and Don clutched to those times knowing it was quite possible for the two of them to get along and be happy with out hurting one another. 

In fact he didn't really think he had made much of a mistake until one attack that really left him questioning weather he was doing the right thing or not by staying with the marriage. It had all started when she had him pinned under her and he had managed to throw her off. Tammie had hardly landed when she was up and springing at him full force knocking him back to the ground and pulling a knife from his belt to hold near his throat. 

" You think you are so smart getting me off. Just try and get me off now! I dare you! Don't **EVER **do that to me again" she threatened him menacingly. 

Don gulped suddenly terrified she would actually kill him and unsure what he could say or do to prevent it from happening. 

She had finally dropped the knife and let him go leaving him badly shaken and confused. 

It was a few days after that attack that Leonardo called him aside after practice for a private talk. 

*~*

  
  
  
_Sometimes you get nowhere_

I've lived all over the world

I've lived all over the place

"**Be My Wife**" David Bowie

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter II Would Walk With You, I Would ...

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Chapter II - I Would Walk With You, I Would Talk With You

"You're always looking. What a pity you never quite manage to see." - Erik Susan Kay's (Phantom)  
*~*

Leo had been noticing the bruises and other occasional small wounds on Don, he had also been aware of days when Don seemed a little stiffer in his movements as if certain things pained him. Leo knew these injuries were not due to a rough practice session, nor were they the product of battle as there was another lull in fight as the Foot Clan seemed to be laying low at the moment. 

At first Leonardo had assumed these minor injuries were due to accidents his brother had in his lab as he worked on his projects but Leo was very observant and took note of the fact that these wounds appeared with almost startling regularity. 

He knew that while Don would get a few minor injuries now and again he wasn't that accident prone or clumsy to acquire as many as he seemed to be achieving recently. He was concerned and worried about what might be happening to Don. 

His concerns only grew as he realized that his normally quiet brother was only becoming more withdrawn. They had always allowed Don a certain amount of solitude to work on his projects and do his own thing after all it was to their benefit to allow Don his freedom. 

Don was the one who could research any subject, be counted on to know how to slip past high security areas without detection, repaired any of their electronics whenever Raph or Mike ended up breaking them. Don had made their lives far more tolerable then it would have been without his technical know how. 

Still this was different then Don's quiet preoccupation with his gadgets, gizmos and various inventions. Leo wasn't sure how it was but, he felt it. 

Now today in practice Don was showing signs of being distracted and not in the sort of form that Leo expected from him. 

True there was the point that Tamara and Don had only been married a few short months but they didn't act like stereotypical newlyweds. True they had been friends before they married and Tamara had been the one who had told Don she didn't really want to be alone any more but the two didn't cling to one another in the typical lovely-dovey sort of way that was almost expected of a newly married couple. 

Leo knew Don wasn't much one for emotional displays and figured Don might act different with Tamara when they were alone together. 

Still Leo couldn't quite shake the feeling something was wrong and he hoped that a talk with Don might reveal what the problem was. 

" So how are things going for you and Tamara? Are you settling down to married life?" Leo asked casually 

" It's fine Leo. Why do you ask?" Don answered abruptly. 

Leo scowled slightly. It wasn't like Don to become defensive to a simple question and he felt that Don was trying to keep something from him. 

" I was just wondering if you were having any problems with Tamara. I know you were friends with her for a time beforehand but living so close to her on a more permanent basis might still take a bit of getting used to Don. 

The thing is you seem distracted during practice and if the Foot decide to turn up and start causing trouble then you might be hurt. I don't want to see that happen. 

The only thing that I know has changed for you is that you have been married so I thought that might be the cause of your lack of focus "Leo explained. 

" We aren't having any problems Leo" Don remarked in an off hand sort of way. 

" If you were having problems and difficulties with them you would let us know though wouldn't you?" Leo pressed ever so gently, " We are here to help you Don." 

" I am fully aware of that Leo" Don snapped sharply then he shook his head, " Look Leo I'm sorry for being so churlish and I appreciate the fact you are concerned but there is really **NOTHING **wrong." 

Leo noticed that his brother's eyes had dropped as he said the last bit. He knew without a doubt there was something wrong now. He didn't understand why Don chose to lie about it but there it was. 

Leo was also painfully aware that there was little he could do about it. He couldn't exactly force Don to tell him what was going on and he wasn't about to play twenty questions with his brother either. 

Don was old enough by now that he was fully capable of dealing with his own problems. Knowing all of this Leo reluctantly dropped the subject and let it go for now as it was obvious that Don wasn't ready to seek the help of his family on it just yet. 

Leo watched Don leave the dojo and he heaved a wearied sigh his brother was changing ever so slightly and it wasn't a change for the better either. 

Leo had sort of hoped that Tamara might draw Don out of his shell instead she seemed to be driving him further into it. 

He didn't care for what he saw and he had an uneasy premonition that things were going to become much worse but he had no idea how to stop it when he knew little of what was going on. 

He wished there was more he could do for Don then watch and wait to see what might develop but at the moment he wasn't sure what else he could do.

Leo debated for a few minutes before deciding to talk to Splinter to see if perhaps Splinter might know what else might be done besides their Master ought to be informed of the changes that were occurring in Don. 

Leo strode to Splinter's room and gave a couple of soft taps on the door, he didn't want to disturb his Master if Splinter was in deep meditation. 

The gentle summons to enter was all Leo needed he strode in stopping to bow his respect. Splinter smiled at the usual formality knowing his other sons were not so stiff and proper he gestured Leonardo to take a seat. 

" What troubles you my son?" 

Leo sighed wondering just how to begin " It's Don Master he has changed." 

" That is to be expected Leonardo for he is now married" Splinter replied simply. 

" I realize that marriage can bring about changes Master but this is...different. I know Don is used to being by himself and doing his own thing but he has changed its subtle but it is there and it has only been there since he has been married to Tamara" Leo tried to explain what he saw and felt but knew that the words he needed eluded him. 

Splinter's old eyes seemed to spark a bit " Are you sure Leonardo that you perceive a change in him that has more to do with you then with Donatello himself? Perhaps you are afraid that the unity you have had over the years will change due to Don now being married" Splinter suggested. 

" I'm not jealous of what Don and Tamara have between them and I suppose there was a time earlier on that I thought Don might leave ninjitsu all together to be with Tamara but I know their marriage isn't like that. 

This is different then that. Don seems distracted in practice, he often has strange marks on him or acts a bit like he is stiff and soar for no apparent reason. I tried to talk to Don but he became evasive" Leo explained his suspicions, " It's just little things that don't seem to add up to much alone but don't feel right either." 

" Perhaps Don and Tamara need to work out a few problems with each other. It takes time to learn to adjust to another person's behavior and mannerisms." Splinter stated. 

" I did consider that..." Leo admitted. 

" Give them time then Leonardo to work things out between them. Donatello is very much aware that we are here to help him if he should desire our help. I have faith that Donatello can deal with the problem on his own and I know he is not one to let any thing go unfinished. Though Donatello prefers not to fight he is still a ninja." Splinter soothed. 

Leo nodded " I realize that Master, it's just I have this strange feeling that it goes deeper then that. I just can't see what it is and Don isn't about to tell me." 

" Then you must be patient my son observe in hopes of seeing, be near in case he needs but above all do not allow your own emotions to get in the way causing you to step in when and where it isn't needed for that might only make things worse" Splinter advised. 

Leo smiled accepting the information knowing that if he did step in when it wasn't warranted it might only cause hard feelings and increase any problems Don and Tamara were having. At the moment he could only wait and watch. 

Perhaps Tamara knew the others might be on to what was happening or it could have been that she was just becoming more cautious in hurting Don so that the marks were not visible. Try as he might Don was getting nowhere solving the problem on his own. 

However he was still reluctant to talk to his family about what was going on between him and his wife. Then one night he awoke to see Tammie sitting up on the bed her shoulders slumped and she was sniffing a bit. 

" Tammie, is there something wrong?" 

" You have to ask that when you live with me? Sometimes Don I hate myself and how I act. I know you don't deserve to be put through everything that I do to you. I don't know why you choose to stay. I can't seem to stop it though Don. I've tried. It doesn't work. 

The scientist back in the lab they used to put things into my brain and I believe it had some bizarre effect on me and how I act. When I get angry things just go red, completely red and I just have to lash out" Tamara confessed dejectedly. 

Don had expected as much numerous times before and he gave his wife a deep sympathetic look " We can work through it Tammie. I'm sure that we can find a way somehow. I know that you don't mean to hurt me and I figured it all stemmed from what you were put through. It is a part of who you are and I accepted that when I married you" Don stated he was grateful for the chance to talk about it and that Tammie at least admitted that there was a problem that needed to be worked on. 

Don rested an arm around her shoulder pulling her close to him. 

" I don't know Don maybe it isn't possible, maybe I'm just too messed up because these things are happening so often." 

" Yes, but there has to be some way that we can control or divert it so it doesn't happen Tammie. There has to be something we can do to make it easier for both of us" Don insisted.  
" I don't want to be turned into some experimental lab animal Donatello" She snapped quickly. 

" You are not going to be one Tammie, trust me will you? I promise you that it won't. We might be able to find a solution that requires nothing more then physical effort." 

Tammie bowed her head then looked up into Don's gentle face she wanted to trust him but trust didn't come easy to her. She knew that there might be a slight chance Don might have to run a few test just to pinpoint what the problem was and how to fix it and she wasn't too sure if she was ready for that. 

" I know you are scared Tammie but I promise you that you won't have to do anything you don't want to." 

Tammie responded with a relieved smile. 

Don took great hope from the fact that Tamara had told him a bit about what had happened to her before and was willing to discuss some of her own feelings on what had been happening between them. 

For some time after that evening talk things did get better as Don looked into things that they might try to help towards their goal. When Tammie seemed to become less aggressive towards him he felt that they were making headway and the situation could be remedied. 

Don actually began to hope that they could beat this thing after all. 

He didn't suspect in the least that Tammie was about to get far worse and that once she started she would deteriorate quickly. 

Looking back on it he knew that those early months with his wife had been the best it would ever get between them.

*~*

I would walk with you 

Talk with you, drink with you 

If you drop that halo that you're wearing on the ground 

****

"I'm Not Losing Sleep "(David Bowie) 


	4. Chapter III The Truth Hurts Like Hell

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Chapter III- The Truth Hurts Like Hell

"I love you, Erik, I love you in so many different ways...but my love is the love of a child afraid to grow up." - Christine Erik Susan Kay's (**_Phantom_**)

*~*

Raph glowered when he heard Don give the happy news that Tamara was pregnant. Don was excited by the fact that he was going to be a father, but all Raph could think was that this was an invitation to more trouble. 

He had never particularly cared for Tamara, there had always been something a little off about her. 

In Raph's mind Tamara was the sort of rodent that you would expect to be infested with disease carrying parasites, she was the sort of rodent that gave **ALL** rodents a bad name. 

Like Leo, Raph was not blind to what was happening with Don and they had already gotten into some fights over the fact of whether they ought to step in and when. Leo and Splinter's continued lack of action only infuriated Raph all the more, he felt they really ought to be doing something. 

True, recently Don hadn't been showing any strange wounds, or sign of injury of any type, not like when he had first been married to Tamara at any rate but, that didn't mean a damn thing to him. Raph knew it could be just a quiet period in their relationship, the calm before the storm as it were, Raph was quite sure that Tamara being the sort of rat she was, would be pulling the carpet out from under Don's feet at any given moment. 

" Now were going to be stuck with two of them" Raph grumbled under his breath. 

Tamara hadn't been pregnant for very long when Don began to have his mysterious wounds appearing out of nowhere again. There was one day that Don skipped out of practice due to a dislocated shoulder . Don had made some feeble excuse for how the injury had occurred, but Raph listening to Don cover up for her felt his hot blood boil inside him as his temper flared up. 

" Leo we have got to do something about **HER**" Raph grumbled after their session. 

" Like what Raph? Give her, her walking papers?"  
" That will do for a start..." 

" You really believe that Don would let her leave here in her condition? If she leaves, Don might never see his child" Leo shot back. 

" Face it Leo you know as well as I do that if she keeps up at this rate she will end up killing him, and meanwhile we will be standing by watching it happen because we are too afraid to step in and put a stop to it." 

" If she hurts Don now what do you think she will do to the child once it is born?" Mike queried. He usually tried to make himself scarce when Leo and Raph started to act like they were about to get into another one of their many arguments but this was deeper then their constant bickering and one up manship." I don't dislike Tamara but I don't care what she is doing to Don. She needs some serious help. 

It's like something I read once, somewhere about people who become addicted and how the addiction can be compared to an elephant in the house, the people go about their business totally ignoring the elephant, they don't see it or talk about it and yet they all know the elephant is there in plain sight it's just no one wants to do anything about it. 

Raph gave a wicked grin at Mike's comment " I'm going elephant hunting soon Leo if something isn't done soon" he threatened. 

" Raph I have tried to talk to Don numerous times. It doesn't help he just keeps covering up for her and making excuses just like he did today. He won't admit to the fact that there is a problem between him and Tamara and I don't know what to do" Leo confessed. 

Raph gave a rumbling, animalistic growl of frustration before storming out of the dojo. 

He hadn't gone far when he caught sight of Tamara sitting on the couch reading a book, paying no attention to her surroundings. Raph unsheathed a single sai and crept into ninja mode sneaking up on her until he was right behind her. He moved fast, with all the speed of a striking snake one arm curled about her neck in a light choke hold, the other hand holding the sai, right at her throat. 

" Listen up Furface, you might think that we don't know what you are doing to our brother, but we are very much aware of the facts. If I have my way you hurt Don again and you will end up back in the lab that you escaped from. Don't you ever hurt Don again or you are going have to deal with me personally. Got that?" 

Tamara hissed between bared teeth one side of her lip curled in disgust " It is none of your business" 

" Yeah, well I'm about to make it my business" Raph retorted. 

" Raphael!" 

The sharp yet commanding tone coming from behind him was all he needed to know, that his Master was watching and wasn't amused by what he saw. 

Raph turned to face Splinter sheathing his sai, knowing he was in trouble, yet again! 

" Come with me now," Splinter ordered. 

Raph reluctantly followed Splinter as he left the living room he swore he saw, Tamara smirking at him from the corner of one eye. 

They entered Splinter's room before he spoke again " Do you truly believe my son that violence is the only way to achieve Don's safety?"  
" It might be the only thing she understands Sensei. I'm sick and tired of doing nothing while Don is getting hurt, we ought to put a stop to it NOW! I don't even know why we put up with her. She is a waste of space and doesn't deserve to live!" Raph declared venting some of his pent up anger and frustrations. 

" Who, then gave you the right to decide who should live and who should die?" Splinter wondered his eyes narrowing slightly. 

" Do we have to sit by and let this happen in our home practically under our noses?" 

" You must try to understand Raphael that we are in a bit of a bind. If we throw Tamara out of our home it could very well be Donatello who stands to lose, then you will be hurting the one you seek to protect. Donatello might come to resent us for his loss. 

We can not use violence on Tamara due to her condition. 

As for Donatello himself it pains me to see him like this, because he continues to make the mistake worse by hiding and covering up the problem. I have tried a few times to get him to acknowledge what is happening to him but he refuses to see. As long as Donatello is willing to accept her behaviour towards him then there is little we can do to prevent or stop it. 

In many ways it is similar to one who becomes addicted to some substance, the one who has the problem might know it exist but feels they can't live without their fix so they make excuses to family and loved ones. Their lives goes in a downward spiral and only when they are willing to admit to the problem and stop it can they start the long climb out of the hole they have dug for themselves. 

Meanwhile loved ones can do all kinds of things they can talk, they can try to get help for the addict, to no avail for it means nothing to the addict. The addict will continue doing things their way until they are ready to change. 

I know Donatello is not addicted, not in the true sense, but he does allow Tamara to repeatedly hurt him, he returns to her and protects her. This tells Tamara that she can't be doing wrong if he willingly permits it. 

Donatello is not ready to climb out of the hole he is digging for himself just yet my son." 

" I can't just sit by and watch her hurt him" Raph protested. 

" I understand but you must try to accept the fact that no matter what you do Raphael Donatello will continue to choose her until he is ready to do otherwise" Splinter replied with a heavy resigned sigh and a dejected shake of his head. 

Don figured that the extra hormones and usual problems that came with any pregnancy only contributed to making Tamara more violent and aggressive. 

She blamed him to the changes her body was undergoing, and she wasn't about to let him off easy for what he was making her suffer with this pregnancy. Don didn't want to strike back for fear of jeopardizing the infant's life and also because he had learned that to strike back was a way to invite further trouble from Tamara. She didn't even seem to care who saw the marks on Don now. 

" It isn't their damned business anyways. Besides you are the one to blame for this mess! You think that someone of your intellect could at least manage to invent something to stop conception" she snarled, as she raked her long claws down his arm, from elbow to wrist. 

Her claws causing four long deep gashes to almost magically appear and the blood started to flow almost instantly. 

It was an uncomfortable, tense atmosphere, which filled the lair as the days turned into weeks. 

Everyone was very much aware and affected by what was happening. Raph's anger was running at a higher peak then normal and he was apt to get into fights for the least little infraction. Leo for the first time felt that all of his leadership skills and capabilities were useless to him, if he could not protect his own brother from coming to harm. Mike found little to laugh at or to joke about and Splinter ached deeply for his intellectual son. Splinter wanted to help Donatello in the worst way but he knew any interference would not be accepted, and his son would reject him as he had before. Not even meditation helped to ease the pain and the conflict the old ninja Master felt for his son. 

All of them were somehow caught in the bizarre web of destruction and chaos they had unwittingly been thrust into. 

It was difficult to see Don being hurt to know the cause of it and hear the lies that he would weave to protect her over it. 

Leo had often heard that people in abusive relationships would return to the abuser time after time, if they ever found someone who treated them half ways decent they would leave that person for someone who would hurt them. 

He couldn't begin to fathom that reasoning and yet he saw his normally intelligent brother acting in this incomprehensible way. 

None of them knew how to help Don, though they had all tried in their own way. It was obvious to them all that Don wasn't quite ready for their help yet. 

Raph had been out blowing off steam topside. He couldn't handle being in the lair for too long these days as Tamara's pregnancy went on things just seemed to be going from bad to worse. 

When he returned home he headed towards the kitchen and caught Tamara with a syringe in her hand and it looked like she was about to administer it's contents into her arm. 

Without stopping to think, Raph tossed a sai her way knocking the syringe out of her hand, the plastic breaking as it hit the concrete floor of the sewer, it's contents slowly leaking out. 

" What do you think you are doing?" Tamara snapped at him. 

" I was going to ask you the same thing. Trying to hurt Don isn't enough for you now?" Raph demanded sharply. 

" You don't know what it is like to have a thing growing inside of you, taking over your body. It feels far worse then anything the scientist had ever did to me." 

" It is not a thing, it is a baby, and you have no right to kill it either. No one asked to be here, god knows I wouldn't if I had a choice in the matter" Raph stated coldly, glowering at Tamara. 

" It's a shame really, after this child is born we will forever be connected" she murmured morosely. 

" Yeah it is no picnic for Don either" Raph admitted, " fact is I think the only thing keeping him going is the fact that he knows he is going to be a dad and **YOU** are **NOT** going to take that from him" Raph promised. 

Don sat huddled on the bed, tears rolling down his face. Tamara had left him for the moment to go roam the sewers or go topside, after her furious attack on him. 

He hated it when she acted this way and he knew her attacks were increasing in violence as the pregnancy wore on. 

How was he supposed to continue like this? 

Oh, he knew there had been problems before he wasn't totally blind after all, but he had believed that they could work them out, only now he wasn't so sure if that was possible any more their problems now seemed insurmountable. He didn't know how things had gotten so out of hand so fast. It was the avalanche caused by the tiniest of pebbles sliding down the mountain face. 

Tamara's mind seemed clouded with a darkness that couldn't be reached or touched. 

It was clear to him that whatever had caused these attacks originally did not agree with her pregnancy. 

Don glanced down at his hands and saw them shaking almost uncontrollably. His left arm pained him badly where Tammie had twisted it, it was quite possible that she had broken it. 

" I can't go on like this" Don sobbed into the thin air around him. He stumbled slowly from his room unsure of what he planned to do, only knowing that he was quite literally at the end of his rope. 

" Donatello do you need help my son?" 

Don looked up with tear filled eyes nodding his head in numb silence, seeking the comfort and guidance that his father/mentor/Master had always provided. 

" Come first we will care for your arm and then we shall talk my son. It might be some time before all is right again but you have made that first important step on your way back to us. We are here for you Donatello, even the best of sons may make a mistake but that does not mean they must suffer alone."

__

No one can blame you

For walking away

Too much rejection

No love injection

Life can be easy

It's not always swell

Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl

'Cause it hurts like hell

"**Labyrinth them song**" David Bowie

*~*


	5. Epilogue Somewhere She Walks Alone

****

Epilogue– Somewhere She Walks Alone

  
"You'd think I wouldn't remember, but I remember everything...everything....I was cursed with these extraordinary powers of recall...." - Erik Susan Kay's (**_Phantom_**)

****

*~*

Donatello looked at Tamara one last time. "So your really leaving?" He asked quietly. Tamara gave him a cold stare.

"You knew damn well that I could be." She hissed at him.

Donatello was leaning on the wall to there room.

"Doesn't it mean any thing to you. That she'll never have a mother?"

Donatello asked slowly.

Tamara laughed .

"Really Don I thought you would have known me by now. I don't give a damn about her."

Donatello sighed.

"I think you should leave."

This time it was Leonardo who spoke. He had his arms high crossed on his chest.

Tamara's lips curled.

"Don't worry I am."

Tamara brushed aside Leonardo and he merely glared at her.

Only a few moments after Tamara left Donatello sat on the edge of his bed and started crying.

Raphelle was all too happy that Tamara was leaving . Even though he did feel sorry for Don he was glade to get ride of her.

When their daughter started crying Raph slowly walked to her crib. Gently holding his niece he couldn't help but frown.

She had eyes like Donatello but looked exactly like Tamara.

*~*

__

Don't you hear this wasted cry, Life is over you

(Mummy come back' cause the water's all gone)

But you've seen who's in heaven. Is there any one in hell

(Mummy come back' cause it's all dark now)

Somewhere she glows divine. Somewhere she walks alone.

But you, you've promise in your loven' eye. God it's dark now.

"**Glass Spider**" David Bowie


End file.
